Continuation of the story ….

I met my girlfriend when she facebooked me and asked about the rumors of me being transgender. As we talked more and more she said she wouldnt mind dating a transgender  person if I was interested so we got to know one another and she invited me to Indy Pagan Day where her coven was putting on a ritual.  It sounded like a good time and I was exploring alternate religions so I went out and attended the event and also attended her ritual.  I enjoyed the pomp and circumstance of the ritual  coming from a Catholic background and it increased my interest in pagan holidays and esbats.  We talked later and I let her know I would be willing to attend another ritual as they did most of their rituals publicly if her.

The next open ritual that they had was Samain and I was hooked, we attended the ritual I enjoyed myself as far as the learning process went and enjoyed the other people in the group.  After this ritual though things started going south for me and the girlfriend and we broke up right before Yule and because of this I only attended one ritual with her coven.  At the time I was hoping to continue the process with her coven but as the timed passed I saw that this was not going to be possible because of the drama.

This caused me to explore other options for my spirituality and I found an online coven to belong to for my education and a guild in a different city for my socialization.  I still do almost nothing witchy in Indianapolis, Indiana because I do not want to run the chance of running into my ex girlfriend.

I have written before on the differences between a guild and a coven and would be more than willing to answer questions in either area.  I will also take question on my transgender journey.  Hope everyone has a wonderful day, sun has come out here, and it is fairly warm for the end of December

Dawn of the Day

A newbie witch explaining her path

Well everyone its Dawn of the day again, Last time we spoke we talked about the difference between a guild and a coven as I have belonged to both.  Today I thought I would take a different look and talk about some of my first steps on the path.

One of the reasons I was drawn to the pagan path in my early exploration was that I was not happy with the mainline religions and the discrimination they showed to the LGBT community.  I tried to live my life correctly by Christian standards for 45 years belonging to their religions, worshiping as they wanted, and even buying in that being trans was not wrong as long as I did not dress in the clothes that I found were most comfortable.

When i reached about 45 i started my “mid life crisis” where I wanted to start dressing more in the clothes that I found proper and was in such a place that I was willing to give up family, friends, social organizations, religion and even my job as a high school teacher.  The other choice for this though was death, I had already picked out the where and how I just had to decide the when.

About this time two things happened just about in unison, one was that I decided to go see a therapist to determine exactly what i was, within two appointments I was diagnosed as trans and told I could start hormone replacement as soon as i wanted.  The second was that I meet a witch and lover and with her help we started exploring the pagan/wiccan path.

Even though the relationship ended badly and I do not care to ever see her again she did show me a religion that was accepting of everyone and one that I did not have to pretend to be someone else for.  Through her guidance she put me on the first steps of my wiccan path which has increased my knowledge of the gods and and how to better work with the goddess as I move down my path of life.

 

More tomorrow

Dawn of the Day

Full Moon Esbat Gathering on Thursday, December 12, 2019

The Esbat ritual this month was written by Adept Dawn of the Day and Novice Luna Llena. We welcome all witches and/or pagans from any tradition especially if you are a solitary practitioner and would like to meet some other brothers and sister of The Old Ways/The Craft.

WHEN:

Elder Moon (Full Moon) Esbat Gathering

Thursday December 12, 2019

Social Hour 6:00 to 6:59 PM CT

Circle Cast at 7:00 PM CT

Please do not enter the chat room after the circle has been cast. The reason being is we have students casting and leading the circle as part of their learning and this could break the circle causing it to have to be recast. Thank you for your cooperation and understanding.

WHERE:

Heart’s Spirit Coven Chatroom

WHAT YOU WILL NEED:

1 small white candle – 4 inches tall
Candle Holder
Matches
Small to Medium Size Bowl of Water
Cookie or Cracker
Beverage of Your Choice
For the Northern Hemisphere Include on your Altar

1 Small Dead Twig from the ground – Symbolizing Death as we approach Yule
1 Piece of Fruit – Symbolizing Renewal as we approach what will come in the Spring

For the Southern Hemisphere Include on your altar

Some Flowers, or Fruit – Symbolize the Abundance of the Summer

Elder Moon – Esbat Ritual

Adept Dawn: We call the watch tower of the East and ask Auriel to help protect this circle and empower the work within our circle.

We call the watchtower of the South and inviting Gabriel to protect the circle and empower our work within the circle.

We call Raphael for the West and to protect the western part of the circle and empower our work within the circle

We call Michael to the watchtower of the North to protect the North part of the circle and also empower our work within the circle.

I will now draw the circle by starting in the East and point at the ground first and
walk clockwise saying I close this circle with Earth so that no harm may come to anyone inside or outside of this circle. I would then point to the ceiling and say I close this circle with Air so that no harm may come to anyone inside this circle, then I would out stretch arm at shoulder level and invoke Fire by saying I close this circle with Fire so that no harm may come to anyone inside or outside of this circle.  Finally, I would say what is above is below what is east is also west and what is north is south we are now enclosed in an orb of light and empowered to do our work within the circle.  I will then walk the circle one more time touching each of the elements starting with a Feather to represent the East and Air, a Candle to represent the South and Fire, a Bowl of  Water to represent the West and Water and then Earth in the North we welcome and thank you for helping us with this circle.

We would welcome the goddess (Isis) and the god (Odin) to the circle and thanking them for attending and helping us with our work.

Everyone: Please tell us your name and where you live –  your first name or pagan name and just the country or state only please

Novice Luna: I will ask everyone to turn to their altar with open arms. Tilt your head back, look at the sky/ceiling and say –

Elder Moon give us your light and
Guide us in this ritual
We ask for your eternal knowledge as
We light this candle to fulfill this rite
Remembering the gifts that you so freely give us
We pray
So mote it be
Novice Luna: At this time light the Elder Moon candle and take a few minutes to reflect on what you accomplished this year and the challenges you have faced, what you have discarded and what you have kept, the changes you wish to make and the future you perceive. Give thanks to the entities of the pure white light for the guidance they have given us as we honor the last full moon of the year, the Elder Moon

Everyone: Hold the water receptacle to the sky and say:

Bless this water so that it nurtures us
God Odin and Goddess Isis guide us as we journey the cycle of life
As we experience the challenges and changes we make daily
As we try to live a life harmonious with the universe that surrounds us
So Mote it Be
Adept Dawn:  We say to the god Odin thank you for working with the circle today you can go if he must or stay if you would like. We say to the goddess Isis thank you for working with the circle you may stay if you would like or go if you must.

We would dismiss the watchtowers starting with the North.  We thank Michael for coming to this circle you may go if you must or stay if you like.

Moving to the West We thank Raphael for coming and protecting this circle you may go if you must or stay if you would like,

We would then thank Gabriel for coming to the circle say you may go if you would like or stay if you want

Auriel with the words of thanks for coming to the circle say you may go if you must  or stay if you like.
I would then hold my arm out and rotating counter clockwise thank fire for protecting the circle and please return from where they came.  I would then point to the ceiling and rotate counter clockwise and thank air for helping us with the circle today and to please return from where they came and finally pointing to the ground rotate counter clockwise and then the earth for helping us with the circle today and to please return from where they came. I would then raise my arms over my head and slowly bringing them down and point to the ground with open hands toward the earth to release the rest of the energy.
The circle is now open but never broken all my brothers and sisters please go in peace and in the safety of the gods and goddesses.

Snack, drink, relax

Between Two Worlds: Gender Dysphoria, Death and Samhain

You might be asking yourself: what do gender dysphoria, death and Samhain have in common? For a lot of my readers, nothing. But for those of us who are transgender it can sometimes mean the difference between life and death. Especially at this time of year when we observe Samhain in the pagan community.

read the rest here

first time i have done this so cross your fingers

Between Two Worlds: Gender Dysphoria, Death and Samhain

covens vs guilds

Lady B wanted me to spend some time musing about my early path on coven life.  I tried to tell her its all early as I have only been on the path for 2 years, lol. Like usual though she didnt listen and in her own way she said “get to writing lady, before i make this one of your required lessons,” lol

Right now i belong to 2 pagan organization one is the coven with lady B and the other is a Guild which is based in Lafayette Indiana.  I actually joined the coven first and then about 2 months later joined the guild.  The coven is where i get my learning and the wiccan path is my chosen path.  The coven is stricter with how rituals are done and is more systematic with the calling of quarters and watch towers and the inviting of deity’s into the circle.  I have also been to a face to face coven and they are even more strict but thats for another post.  The coven also does classes in a more organized manner with everything written out and the lessons that build on one another.

So if the coven is my chosen path why u might ask did i decide to join a guild also,  It was for the face to face conversation and worshiping.  It was for the interaction with members and helping the members through life troubles, helping to lead and education pagans on the wiccan path.  The guild is made up of all types of pagans, and most are walking their path solo or maybe with just one or two other people.  The rituals are very general bc of this, ie we dont have enough say wiccans to celebrate only with a wiccan ritual so we will generalize the ritual taking bits from many different paths.  This is the same with the lessons, in the guild.  These lessons are called study sessions, and they can be about almost anything pagan and its what the priestess thinks you are in need of at this time.  It can be your path or it can be someone elses path.  The guild makes sure you are well rounded in many paths so you can help the other members who are struggling.

So in conclusion I feel a witch needs to be well rounded and know not only the path that they are on but also bits of other paths bc somewhere down the road it may become important not only to you but to a friend or neighbor.  Also face to face worship is important and the talking and discussing different thoughts and ideas over a cup of coffee can be very enlightening.  I also think a witch should find her basis and know as much as possible about it so she has a strong foundation to work off of as she not only helps others but also follows her path.  Any questions please ask

 

Dawn of the Day

The Pale Horse

The Pale Horse

 

Death came by that day

He arrived like a gentle spring rain

The grass was greening

and the dew was still remaining

 

Death came by that day

With a certain calmness

With the face of a child

Who’s smile was flawless

 

Death came by that day

With the comfort for many

Knowing that she will be sleeping

In the land of plenty

 

Death came by that day

To comfort and offer solace for the pain

That the friends and family had in their souls

And the time chosen was most humane

 

Death came by that day

After the goodbyes had be said

The memories had been relived

and nothing had been left unsaid

 

death came by that day

and put on the period

to a life that had been taken

but with certain weariness

 

death came by that day

to claim another

this one from cancer

but it could have been others

 

death came by today

how many times has he been here before

how many more will he take

how many more will he call for

 

death came by today

to claim someone of wonder

to some she was a just the lunch lady

to others she was their mother

 

death came by today

we can not escape

he does not take a holiday

for anybodys sake

 

death came by today

he rode a pale horse

to claim another life

before their time had run its course

 

Jennifer Dawn Marshall

2-23-18

Foster Moms

by Dawn Marshall    9-26-19

 

Foster Mom
her coffee is black
and the day is just dawning
her sleep was too short
and she is busy yawning
the bed has been calling
And she has to ignore it
More rest would be wonderful
but you have to move forward
There will be short nights
Through out her career
some due to  illness
But others from reindeer
A birth mother has been there
She can make those decisions
you can keep out most damage
and not let them be victims
A foster mom is different
Her kids face more drama
their child is often hurting
they have suffered some trauma
the pain has changed them
as all injuries will do
often for the negative
but the strong get through
The trauma will jade them
and the world  will look different
it will make some into fighters
some will become belligerent
sometimes this will manifest
at one in the morning
with a lot of loud shouting
And screaming and groaning
hey will often feel pain
like they are unwanted
some feel that they are bad
and can easily be forgotten
Some have been raped
For others its emotional
The pain is so great
tears become uncontrollable
healing is a long process
but it needs to be done
to work through the issues
And they feel like a ton
There will be some tears
That are shed on both sides
but the child will feel better
because of moms vibes
sometimes when this happens
And the pain begins to spew
All a mother can do
Is say I LOVE YOU
Dawn
9-26-19

Our Spiritual Path

what is your spiritual path
has it always been given
are you Nordic or Greek
or maybe even Egyptian
what does it mean to be pagan
what gods should you follow
are you sure you are a polytheist?
or maybe the temple of Apollo
are you considered a white witch
or maybe you are closer to dark
or maybe just a shade of grey
what is your bench mark
There are so many paths to follow
do you know which one
they say meditation works
but sometimes it is just a dry run
the god and the goddess
is what most pagans believe
throw in the wheel of the year
and a full moon to weave
some think about summerland
others believe they go to heaven
whatever it is you are thinking
i am sure you will find it pleasant
Dawn 9-10-19

Being transgender

Being trans

Some days are good
Some days are bad
Some days you win
Some days you are sad
Some days you are misgendered
Some days you are dead named
Some days you are marginalized
Some days you are shamed
Some days you are bruised
Some days you bleed
Some days you are stabbed
these things you don’t really need
Some days you limp home
Somedays you run
Some days for sanctuary
Some days for fun
No matter what though
The next day has arrived
You have to get up and go
You have to thrive
You cant let them win
no matter what they do
You have to live
You have to improve
We win by continuing
We win by living
We win by being out there
We win by FORGIVING
Jennifer 5-17-19

My Spiritual Journey poem/prayer

My spiritual Journey

The journey started
With just a date
It really wasn’t meant
to change the debate
a journey was down
a very simple road
that picked up speed
as my life began to erode
a step that was not so serious
a step that wasn’t gnarled
an agreement to investigate
a new and different world
The info was great
At times it was too much
The rituals were different
The instruction was clutch
I must take it slow
For the learning is great
Slow and steady wins the race
I need to learn to meditate
The light must be dimmed
For if not its blinding
I know the path I need to take
And it will be binding
Patience is the answer
To learn this is a chore
But to go too fast or too slow
I would soon be done for
my guides are important
To move me down my path
To understand the essence
As I learn about the past
The answer is meditation
And I need to do it more
I am headed to naz
To practice this art some more
I hope for a spiritual summer
Of peace and prosperity
A different type of experiences
In all its philosophies
To come back calmer
To find more than I seek
To be a more complete me
In all that I think
 Dawn of the day
9-5-18