Accepting the Crone Years

This morning I was having a great deal of difficulty getting ready for work. You see as I have entered my crone years things don’t always look the the way they once used to. In particular, I was complaining about my wrinkled arms. It has just begun to warm up and I couldn’t find a shirt that had long sleeves, but wouldn’t make me a sweaty mess. That led to my being very critical of other parts that just weren’t as firm or smooth as they once were. As you can imagine my mood was beginning to darken and that’s not how I like to start my day, especially on a Friday! When my phone signaled that I had received a message I hoped it was something to brighten my day, but unfortunately it was bad news and I was immediately humbled. A friend of ours had passed away during the night. He had recently been diagnosed with the dreaded C – cancer. He was a few years younger than me, and had just married a wonderful woman after a lifetime of looking for his soulmate. It really put my problems into perspective. Yes, I have aged. My face has lines and crows feet. Because I’ve smiled often. Wouldn’t trade that. Gravity is taking it’s toll on my body. But it did house my beautiful children that are now responsible adults that have blessed me with grandchildren. I can’t run up the stairs as fast as I once could, but I am not in such a hurry anymore. My wrinkled arms are not pretty to look at, but my grandchildren love to be snuggled in them and I take every opportunity offered to rock them in the rocker my husband gifted to me when our first son was born. I look exactly as I should for my age. We will miss our dear friend, but I am grateful for the reminder of how precious our time on this earth is, even with the wrinkles. I smiled when I remembered one of my grandkids asking why my arms look as they do. I explained that happens when you get older. Her answer was, “I still love when  you hug me with your flabby arms.” May the Goddess help our friend to pass to the Summerland peacefully. And thank you for reminding me to be grateful that I am still here on this earth, flabby sin and all.

It Feels Great to Finally Have Some Time to Spend with You

The last two weeks in my life reminded me why I had my children when I was young. 6 weeks after my 44th birthday my youngest of 5 children turned 18. If my darling Sean Michael had lived I still would have only been 54 when he turned 18. I have been helping my younger daughter by watching her almost 4 year old son week days since April 19th and even though I love him a lot I thank the Great Mother today’s the last day of watching him until the 15th while my daughter trained for a new at home job. He has a 16 year old sister who is embracing her inner witch, even if she chooses not to tell her parents yet, and a 6 year old house of fire brother. About half the nights I stayed at my daughter’s so I could get a couple of hours extra sleep or at least try to.

Besides all of this the 6 year olds birthday was the first day of this marathon then my birthday came. My middle son and his wife gave the family permission to tell the world my 9th grandchild will be welcomed on to this plane of existence sometime towards the middle of August. Than yesterday I see a post my oldest son put on Facebook not only to tell theirown friends but his parents and children the he married a woman on April 30th whom my son had kicked out of their shared apartment last summer because of her drinking, drugging, emotionally and physically abusing him. So needless to say it put me and his 3 adult children into shock and that’s put it mildly for myself. I will find out more this evening when I talk to him.

If you would be so kind as to say a prayer or light a candle or both for the health of my daughter-in-law and my grandson. I and my son will be very grateful.

As for my older son’s marriage I ask if you would please ask the Universe to give him extra protection. Not only as his mother butI as his spiritual mentor also I am afraid for him. I love him and after I tell him the hurt I and his younger daughter feel, I haven’t talk to his other daughter and only son yet, for the way the told us he was getting married. I will listen to the reason he married his abuser after being totally rid of her. I will wish them a long happy life together and offer to Do a handfasting for them. I’m an ordained minister I could have gone the 3 1/2 hours to where they lived, married them in acouple park with only their immediate family members that could of made it there and a potluck reception and off they go. Oh well he’s almost 44 and as with all my descendants he walks to the beat of his own drummer. Also, except for one week total my husband’s been out of work since the beginning of March. Last but not least I go back to the orthopedic surgeon this Tuesday to find out if I need more knee surgery or just some physical therapy. As much as I dislike PT it’s a lot better than surgery.

While my life is once again a rollercoaster I know the one place where I can always find support and stability is by being open and honest with my chosen family that includes whoever is reading this. I have missed interacting with you, posting new information and reading your emails. This weekend I will be working on getting Coven Life up to date for May’s Moon phases and events. It you are not a coven member by being a student we have decided to open coven membership for a $25.00 annual fee payable after the Elders review a questionaire you need to fill out. If you are interested write to us a covenlifescoven@gmail.com and put “Applying 4 Coven Membership.” We will email you the questionnaire within 24 to 48 hours.

May you have blessed and Magickal weekend

-Lady Beltane