One Novice’s Story of her Path in The Craft

My name is Amanda and I am 24 years old. Married for 3 years, been together with my husband for 10 years, and we have a 7 month old son. I have 2 cats and a rabbit that all give me the crazies at times but I love them dearly. When I was younger I always felt a pull to Paganism, although at the time I never really understood very much of it and I hardly asked questions because there were so many bad things being said and believed about it. I felt like I would be persecuted or disowned if I even spoke about it. I was given a book called “Celtic Magic” by one of my friends and hid it because I didn’t want my family to find it. As I grew up I just held all of my questions in and just forgot about everything because I had no where to go to and just became confused. When I went to college in 2010 the only friend I had was a High School friend of mine who had found Jesus and joined a Christian Ministry group on campus called Chi Alpha. He took me along to some of the meetings and at first I felt like it was very wrong for me. I had a very bad experience at my first meeting and stopped going for about a month. Then he introduced me to a woman named LeeAnn who took me into her Small Group which is like a mini version of Chi Alpha. There were about 1000 people who attended the Chi Alpha meetings and about 15 in my Small Group, which was a lot because a normal Small Group was 5 or 6 girls. They took me in like I was one of their own and what I experienced with them as a Christian was profound. I felt like I was finally at home and was where I belonged. I told them about how I was interested in Paganism and Wicca and how that still lingered inside me and there was no judgement. I was told by LeeAnn that I would find my way to which ever when the time was right and that was amazing to me. The girls I bonded with were a big part of my life and helped shape me into who I am today and I would not change that experience for the world. I thought I was going to move on and become a Small Group leader and have a Small Group of my own. I felt like I was called to lead and that one day I would become a missionary in South Africa or Chile. But once I graduated, even though I still lived in the same town, we all fell apart. It was like I was not part of their group anymore. This made me resent my religion and I became a little depressed. And then about two or three months later, an old friend of my husband and I dropped into town with his girlfriend. It was strange to us because he left right after graduating High School and joined the Marines, that was his life dream. And he was healthy as a fiddle, but suddenly out of nowhere he developed a serious medical condition that gave him an honorable discharge and instead of staying in California where his life was, he moved to this small town that I lived in! He introduced us to his girlfriend Autumn who then started hanging out with us almost daily. After about a few weeks of hanging out she began talking about some of the books that she had and lo and behold they were on Wicca. I thought, wow, I never met anyone else who was interested in this so I began asking her questions and asking to borrow her books. We began studying together, asking each other questions and taking time out of our day to sit in a room just us and talk about everything. We performed a Full Moon rite together and it was amazing. I began to feel at home for real this time, no doubt in my heart on where I was called to be. The feelings of shame I had as a child diminished and I became unafraid to let people know who I was and to my surprise everyone was very much okay with my decision. This was two years ago and since then my heart has been called on and tugged by so many different things such as deities and crystals and places. I have felt a calling from this path for along time and it took experiencing so much in my college career for me to finally understand and feel comfortable about where I belong. I still have much to learn on this path and I look forward to every second of it. There will be ups and downs but I am okay with that. I will be challenged a great deal but that will only help me grow in the Craft and my path.